I have my days where I sit in my room and ponder within my thoughts about anything. Sometimes, it takes the whole day to do so just because I have nothing else to do. Wow, talk about not having a life, right? Mhmm...I wish my life would be so interesting and not so...boring.
Ahh, Christmas. The time of the year where everyone goes all jolly-olly mood as they celebrate with their loves ones at someone's house and opening gifts. My my...that sounds like tons of fun right? Heh, in my case...that kind of fun's drifting away. Ever since that incident almost two years ago involving my older cousins, everything hasn't been the same. The amount of family gatherings decreases and not enough closure I suppose. I don't even get to see any relatives until two months later where someone's birthday pops up. When it does, the party is usual, just a tad awkward in some ways. It's like nothing has happened and we continue where we left off. I know that deep down, so many things have happened during these two years...it's a bit crazy I must say. I hate family drama.
I'm kind of bummed of the fact that things aren't as what they used to, but nothing obviously lasts forever. All we have to keep are memories, but sometimes...I don't like to reminisce. I hate to dwell into the past on the good times when I know that they won't happen again in the future. The more I do, the more I won't get over it. So as usual, I leave it alone and not think one bit of it...until the holiday season. I guess at this point, it has hit me a little bit hard because this was the only time where the real fun happens. I mean, family reunions are one thing, but Christmas is huge to me. I just found out that I'll be staying home for both Christmas eve and day. Though the actual party is the 27th, I still am upset that I'll be staying home and rot while everyone else I know will be either out of town or spending time with their family. Can we say depressing? Kinda, but I don't know with you. I find it pretty sad. Even if it's not with the whole family, usually someone hosts a small get together and I'd be satisfied with that. Well...no one has bothered to host any on those days, so whatever.
Aside from that, I feel different now that things like this happen. I don't have enough of that Christmas spirit unlike others who do. It's like any other day anyway, so not something I'm looking forward to for this year. Maybe on the long run, things will patch up? I hope so...I'm still sad that mylate uncle won't be able to join us though, considering that he was our 'santa claus' who would pass out free money just for the hell of it. Rest in Peace.
Ya know, I wish that I had a different life to live in. A whole new perspective on things and not have a care on anything around me. I wouldn't be so down if I had the life like that. I wonder how everything would be in the end...I've come to realize that each time I have a problem, I tend to let it sink away by going on the internet. I spend majority of my time each day on the internet to get my mind away from whatever is bothering me. This doesn't happen every day since I'm naturally attached to my laptop. It's just times like this, I feel the need to let my problem melt away even though it's not a good idea. I can say it's my escape from what's really in front of me. Pretty bad, I know. I don't go out with friends as much as I used to. My social life's going down and I feel the need to put it back up during break. I just hate being home right now.
I'm going to edit tomorrow.
Ahh, Christmas. The time of the year where everyone goes all jolly-olly mood as they celebrate with their loves ones at someone's house and opening gifts. My my...that sounds like tons of fun right? Heh, in my case...that kind of fun's drifting away. Ever since that incident almost two years ago involving my older cousins, everything hasn't been the same. The amount of family gatherings decreases and not enough closure I suppose. I don't even get to see any relatives until two months later where someone's birthday pops up. When it does, the party is usual, just a tad awkward in some ways. It's like nothing has happened and we continue where we left off. I know that deep down, so many things have happened during these two years...it's a bit crazy I must say. I hate family drama.
I'm kind of bummed of the fact that things aren't as what they used to, but nothing obviously lasts forever. All we have to keep are memories, but sometimes...I don't like to reminisce. I hate to dwell into the past on the good times when I know that they won't happen again in the future. The more I do, the more I won't get over it. So as usual, I leave it alone and not think one bit of it...until the holiday season. I guess at this point, it has hit me a little bit hard because this was the only time where the real fun happens. I mean, family reunions are one thing, but Christmas is huge to me. I just found out that I'll be staying home for both Christmas eve and day. Though the actual party is the 27th, I still am upset that I'll be staying home and rot while everyone else I know will be either out of town or spending time with their family. Can we say depressing? Kinda, but I don't know with you. I find it pretty sad. Even if it's not with the whole family, usually someone hosts a small get together and I'd be satisfied with that. Well...no one has bothered to host any on those days, so whatever.
Aside from that, I feel different now that things like this happen. I don't have enough of that Christmas spirit unlike others who do. It's like any other day anyway, so not something I'm looking forward to for this year. Maybe on the long run, things will patch up? I hope so...I'm still sad that mylate uncle won't be able to join us though, considering that he was our 'santa claus' who would pass out free money just for the hell of it. Rest in Peace.
Ya know, I wish that I had a different life to live in. A whole new perspective on things and not have a care on anything around me. I wouldn't be so down if I had the life like that. I wonder how everything would be in the end...I've come to realize that each time I have a problem, I tend to let it sink away by going on the internet. I spend majority of my time each day on the internet to get my mind away from whatever is bothering me. This doesn't happen every day since I'm naturally attached to my laptop. It's just times like this, I feel the need to let my problem melt away even though it's not a good idea. I can say it's my escape from what's really in front of me. Pretty bad, I know. I don't go out with friends as much as I used to. My social life's going down and I feel the need to put it back up during break. I just hate being home right now.
I'm going to edit tomorrow.
hartu.
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