Locked Up

Don't you hate it when you want to tell someone what's really wrong, but you can't even say a word from your mouth? It's difficult to say when so many emotions are running in you. It frustrates you and you're torn in between. Maybe because you're afraid you would let out too much and let it eat you deep inside. It's like being held in captive and have no urge to be released. You have this heavy feeling on you shoulders and it's so hard to shake it off.

As much as I'd like to say every single thing coming from my mind, something prevents me from doing it. I've been feeling so aggravated since this feeling has occurred. It's never a good thing to bottle up your emotions, but I feel that maybe sometimes you can't always tell people what's bothering you just so you won't have them to worry about you. I don't blame them for telling me what's best for my sake, since it shows how caring they are. I just don't want them to worry too much about me whether if I'm exhausted or going through something. I haven't taken myself so seriously when it comes to giving myself some time to recuperate.

I'm having a hard time figuring things out and being sleep deprived is adding up to my stress. If I really need time for myself, then I need it. I can't sleep it off and expect to wake up with a good feeling. It just doesn't work that way. Although thinking about it as I stay up late at night isn't good either. So I'm going to take initiative by sorting what's best for me. Might take a while to know what can I do to regain what I lost. Then maybe this can stop and I can get back to where I was.

"My troubles have put me in a dark place where it overshadows my happiness. The one thing I owned, and I cannot let it take over. Being held in captivity, I try to break free from these chains by spreading my wings as wider as I can. Run to a nearby cliff, jump off and fly up the horizon with a smile that brightens up the world. I fight for what is rightfully mine. I will not lose to this. I just cannot do so. No one can take away what gives me strength and the will to continue."